Fifty Shades of Grey…One Million Shades of Ugh
A Book Report by Joseph Kremer
Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic romance novel by E.L. James (published by Vintage Publications) that describes a brief sex affair between hot, clumsy college girl Anastasia Steele and the wealthy former crack baby Christian Grey.
The story takes place in Oregon and Washington with a slight detour through “Stupid Town." Anastasia is a privileged Caucasian virgin that works in a hardware store and drives a Volkswagen Beetle. Her daily battles filled with nothing but boring generation Y angst until ONE DAY her roommate becomes ill and can’t interview the “self-made” super-rich, piano playing, and helicopter flying Christian Grey for the college paper. Anastasia conducts this interview for her roommate, in which afterwards Christian becomes bewitched by this dopey fawn of a girl and decides that he’s going to seduce her and bring her into his world of…spanking and Gregorian chant (I’m not kidding).
Christian emails Anastasia a contract saying that she will be “submissive” to his “dominant” for a whole bunch of erotic play. The proposed contract fills her with incredulity, upon which, she whines about endlessly. Their affair boils over into an anti-climactic (irony!) argument and makes the reader wonder: “Will the couple survive this tragic occurrence? And more importantly…does anyone care?”
Here’s a concise review of this novel: The author’s prose is child-like at best, which forces the reader to slowly crawl through hundreds of poorly described situations and scenes. The story and its characters are completely two-dimensional and predictable, with some of the characters acting simply as filler for a pathetic little plot that goes nowhere. While I was reading it I found myself constantly forcing my eyes to the page because they kept rolling to the back of my head.
HOWEVER, there is a dark and mysterious element that is lurking in the pages of this novel, touching female readers and giving them an impetus to read on. And that element is the feeling of NOT HAVING TO MAKE A DECISION. The biggest fans of this novel are those that want to be swept up in a sexual fantasy that involves them not having to answer their boyfriend or husband endlessly asking, “I dunno. What do you want to do?” The fans of this novel are those that want to be seduced, desire to be flirted with, and simply want an A personality in not only their day-to-day lives, but in the bedroom as well. That is the ONLY explanation I have for this publication selling over 100 million copies since 2012.
In conclusion, there’s really nothing of depth in this book, so don’t waste your time reading it. Do yourself a favor and go see The Book Club Play instead. I hear it’s funny.
- Joseph Kremer
OPENING THIS WEEKEND!!!
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2 comments:
;Hi: I've been a fan of Actors Theatre for many years, enjoying their plays and productions, actors and scenery.
I've just seen the Book Club play and enjoyed it with laughter and amusement. I have always recommended and bought tickets for many of my friends, going together, bonding, enjoying lunch and a good dramatic or funny play.
I am happy to note that Actors Theatre will have a whole summer filled with events, music, comedy and drama.
Thanks so much for the fine works you put on in Actors Theatre.
Marilyn Bellincampi
Thank you for sharing Marilyn! We appreciate your feedback very much. We are glad you had a wonderful time at THE BOOK CLUB PLAY.
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