Wednesday, January 12, 2011

THIS - blog 4 - Yolanda London (Marrell)

I have a THIS is share.
I cried on Saturday.
I cried on Sunday too. I was sitting on the couch with my husband, playing video games.
I cried on Monday, listening to the Moment of Silence on NPR.
Last night, I left rehearsal, I sat in my car and I cried some more.
I've been crying a lot these past few days.

Why so sad?

Well, because of all of THIS. I don't have to say it, you know what it is. Look around. Take inventory.
All of that stuff, all of that crap, all of that noise. That's it. We all see it, we all know it's there, but we don't want to talk about it. No one wants to take hold of it, clean it up, show it off.
No one wants to tell the truth about it.

The truth can be ugly sometimes. THIS, all that stuff, can get ugly. And we're not always comfortable with being ugly.
We're afraid to be associated with the UGLY.
We'd rather deny the UGLY, change the UGLY.
Keep the UGLY private.
It's a shame too, because sometimes ugly can be beautiful. Like with Nicolas Cage, or rusty metal, or...scars.
Or, with the way something senseless and stupid, something sick and unjust, can make people stop and offer kindness and support.
Soft words and understanding. Be Nicer.

The ugly truth. THIS. Sitting in that car, this was all the crying. The sadness and the anger. The lack of control and the fear that comes along with having none.
Where's the beauty in that?
I don't know that there is any.
But I don't believe I'm alone in any of THIS.
And sharing THIS, is what makes it beautiful.

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